that catholic (jewish, protestant, etc.) guilt

I've got to run up to The City this afternoon for a few errands: picking up a wedding gift for my cousin at Biordi's, having my last banh mi for awhile, snagging some torrone (a.k.a. "crack cocaine for Italians") to bring home to my husband, and giving newly-minted 1L Blue a lift back to the south bay.

Oh, and dropping out of school.

Withdrawing, I should say. I'm not dropping out, strictly speaking, since I'm already enrolled in my new law school (although I'd feel a bit more confident about that if their online system would recognize my social security number, but that's another story). I'm simply leaving one law school to attend another.

It's just strange to be leaving a school under circumstances other than graduation. I've never switched schools except at commonly-acknowledged breaking points: between eighth grade and high school, college and grad school.

I feel guilty.

Last night I dreamed I was back at the old school, attending classes, still secretly planning to move away. All my old study-group pals were reconvening, having drinks, catching up...and I couldn't muster the nerve to confess to everyone that I was leaving. (It was a surreal dream in general. My high school English teacher, Mr. Kendall, appeared as one of my study-group pals.)

Talk about needing to get over it. I woke up this morning and emailed C., perhaps my best friend from 1L, breaking the news that I wouldn't see her on Thursday after all. It's time to come out of the closet.

I AM TRANSFERRING LAW SCHOOLS! I AM NOT COMING BACK HERE! I STILL LOVE YOU ALL BUT THIS IS REALLY WHAT'S BEST FOR ME! KEEP IN TOUCH, OK??

there, better :)

thus spake /jca @ August 19, 2003 11:24 AM